In These Moments
by Momomiya Naoi
Summary: AYABIE Kenzo's thoughts about his first met with Yumehito. FLUFF. Shonen-ai. KenzoxYumehito.


_**Ayabie – Kenzo x Yumehito – In these moments (1/1)**_

**Title** : In these moments  
**Author **: naoi / dira  
**Pairing / Bands** : Kenzo x Yumehito ( Ayabie )  
**Romance/Fluff.**  
**Rating** : PG13  
**Disclaimers** : I don't own them :3  
**Author notes** : un-beta ed mistakes.  
Inspired by Utada Hikaru / Prisoner of Love ,somehow the song really fits the fic  
Based on Yumehito's interview in Rock and Read and my pervert mind :p

a pretty long one-shot.. sorry ;-;

ah yeah.. also inspired by that fanservice they did in Finland (because my friend said they kissed there..ο￣▽￣）ﾉフゥフゥ) and the pamphlet pics on Europe tour

Please don't mind my grammar ;; it's 3am here, and I didn't even know what I write is right or not 8D  
Will corrected it after I get enough sleep sorry!! DDX

well well then

enjoy(●'∪'●)

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**KENZO POV**

There's always a first time.  
And the first time experience can be terrifying or lovely. But thanks God I felt the second one when I met him for the first time.  
Honestly I never saw your face, even at that time you already popular I never know you. Everyone seems to know you and pity; I'm a type who often ignores his surroundings, so I acted like know everything but inside, I don't know anything.

Until that thing happened and you appeared before us –well, before me. Everyone looked so close with you, but not with me. Honestly that time I was stunned.. And do you know what I saw for the first time ? At that time my eyes captured your smile. A very gorgeous smile indeed. If only these eyes can record and captured everything, you will be amazed when you see my photo album which full of that amazing smile.

At first time, I thought there's another something swelling in my chest. I smiled happily in my mind. It's like when you're find something missing.. like this complicated puzzle in my brain finally complete and my selfish self slowly opened its door to welcome this feeling.  
'I want to know you more', that's what I said to myself when we introduce ourselves, I shook your hand, and my eyes –for the first time- met yours.  
That night, honestly I couldn't sleep. These eyes, this brain keep imagine your looks, every detail of it.  
'Shit', I cursed out loud and smiled like an idiot. Why this feeling always come so sudden? Weird. It looks like this emotion will eat my soul slowly and send me to a heavenly place.  
I hope I can share this feeling with you.

I, who always took a chance to glanced at you behind my drums realized there's something contrast with your smile. It was your eyes.  
Those eyes never lied. Behind those lovely smiles you made, you successfully tricked everyone around you, but not me. Your eyes told me different thing, and it said sadness. Maybe I'm the only one who realized this ?  
Somehow I really wanted to ask you what's wrong, but I perfectly know myself.  
Too stupid (and afraid) to ask, even asked you to go home or have dinner together I didn't even dare. My ego is too big for this thing, and I'm not ready yet.

Until one day I received a message in my cellphone. It's from a fan and contains scorn. It wrote that you're appearance disturbing us, then in seconds I flung my cellphone away to my bed. My reaction is redundant, I didn't even know why. And I didn't know why I can ignore those messages slowly.

But those messages disturb me in some ways, so I talked about this thing with my best friend who is a very good listener and great singer, Aoi. In one time when we had a beer together I asked him, and he answered that everyone got the messages too.  
Then we kept silent and dive in our thoughts again until I finally break the silence with a question about him.  
'Yes I asked him before, he said he's fine with it, but I know he lied', that's what Aoi answered before he took the last sip of his beer.

And now another feeling came up, but this time it's not as happy like before.  
This feeling felt… like sorrow? and it's getting creepier. This feeling can eat me alive in any time and make me drown in the deepest sea so I can't even breathe again. I felt like I am isolated.

Well, I'm worried with you. Like hell.  
And I want to punch myself hard why I can be this stupid to not even walk to your apartment or call you and tell you everything will be alright?  
But the times I think like that, I'm getting afraid of my self.

I felt like, I'm not myself anymore.

After my encountered with you I transformed into another person.  
And I'm afraid with these changes, so then I tried to do anything. ANYTHING. So this brain isn't full of my imaginations of yours again.

But God seems doesn't like my decision, because I met you again.  
No, not met like usual meeting like in rehearsals or lives. I can managed that 'met', but this.. it was different.

It was already late that day; I could remember it clearly because it's rare to see myself forget my keys at the studio. So I came back there with hurry and obviously no one there. When I found my keys I heard a loud sound, more like a something hard fell. I searched for the source of the sound and I only can stand still in puzzlement when I saw you.  
You sat down and buried your face in your arms. I heard your breath hitching.

You are crying.

It was your cellphone who fell and made a loud noise before, and then I realized it's in front of me. At that time, this feeling --weird feeling-- took control of all my body function, I didn't know what I'm doing that time and my brain couldn't stop this thing too. I bent down and took his cellphone slowly, and I can see that cruel words, more cruel than what I received before, on the phone screen ..and its for you.  
I cursed under my breath for someone who did this.

And somehow these feet walked slowly to his direction, really slow so he was shocked when realized I was in front of him already.  
He looked at me with teary eyes, and it hurts me. Because I really can't imagine how someone as cheerful like you can cried with pain like this.  
From your eyes I knew you looked confused, so I gave your cellphone which I hold it tight before as an answer.  
And now I bent down, I met your eyes in a straight direction. You are in front of me.  
With those teary eyes I know you haven't removed all of those disturbing emotions.  
So I opened my arms and put it around your small shoulders.

In silence I embraced you tight.

I don't care if suddenly you disgusted with me and don't want to see me again. Whatever.  
Because this moment was just too perfect, and I will pay for everything, I will do anything to taste this same feeling again, even it's only for a second.

Your shoulder somehow shaking and suddenly I felt your hands grabbed my back, and I felt my shoulder getting wet.  
I am sorry because all I can do is only hug you tight..  
I'm sorry because I didn't do anything useful since the first time I got the message and I was too stupid to realize that you're hurt too…

My fingers slowly touch your silky hair and caressed it, my lips whispered on his ears,

'It's okay to cry.'

And you're crying again.

We hugged in silence, you tried to put outside all of your sadness, and I'm here. Accompany you in your sadness.  
I think I'm egoist because I somehow feel happy with this.  
Happy, because I'm the one of all people who is here, accompany you. Because I got the chance so there are only two of us here, and it was me, who wiped out your sadness.

I could feel your figure that seems more fragile and small than before. So I decided to embrace you tight once again, as if I would never leave you.

I will protect you Yumehito. I promise.

* * *

After that time everything looks different in my eyes, I can feel myself is getting more courage to take advantages every opportunities so I can be together with him. And it's funny he didn't refused my appearance.  
I'm getting sure of this weird feeling and I'm happy with it.  
Those sadness fireworks on your eyes slowly missing, in one moment, I asked you about the night before and you said you didn't care about it lately.  
And 'Thank you', you said.  
I was puzzled; I couldn't even say a word! I have to blinking my eyes many times just to make sure I'm not dreaming.  
Those two words are really simple, but when it came out from his kiss-able lips, (yeah. Kiss-able. I'm serious. ) it sounds so beautiful.

So, for the first time in my whole life, I let myself to change.. just for him.

So many times I steal every opportunity so I can be with you, only two of us, and hope that you have same feeling for me. I might be too arrogant, but I know you will be mine someday.  
Also in other times, when I walked you home or ate dinner together, I tried to connect my fingers slowly with yours.  
You look startled, but I don't care. You know I'm an egoist person, and I'm smart Yumehito. The more I know you, the more I can read everything on you like an open book..  
How clear I see that pink-flush on your cheek no matter how many times you tried to covered it with your hair or your hand.  
And so this held in the hand, I know you don't mind.

Somehow this weird feeling took control of my brain more often. I almost couldn't think straight every time I'm close to you. Maybe this because of my foolish self.. I often let my feelings settled in my mind. . and I'm too afraid to share this thing with you.

Until that time,

It was on summer tour in our second year, somehow the position of our hotel room changed. I, who often paired with Takehito (blame my smoking habit) was asked to change with Aoi (who often paired with Yumehito) because he had something important to discussed with the black haired guitarist. I surely don't mind, so took my belongings and moved to his room.

When I entered his room, he was packing his belongings on his bed (yes. 2 single beds there). You smiled when your eyes met with mine, and I started to put my belongings and packed my things on my bed. Somehow this feels so familiar. Both of us together like this.

Until day getting dawn I'm getting nervous, I really can't sleep even I already closed my eyes many times. Then I tried to change my sleep position, now my eyes stared at your sleeping figure, straight to your back, your breath inhaled slowly. I sighed; I hope I'm in the same dream-land with you.

But you suddenly turned around to my direction. You woke up. Slowly opened your sleepy eyes and blinked at me, who patiently stared you back. I don't know what to say.. or what to do. But then you gave me your smile, and suddenly held out your hand towards me.

Distance between my bed and yours was too far away so you can't reach my hand here. But I welcomed your small hand; I held out my hand and we're holding hands.  
These fingers were connected like glue, no one who wants to let go our connected fingers.  
My eyes never leave yours and so do you. We keep stared at each other like it's only you and me who live in this universe. Then the sound somehow blended with this atmosphere and create a blissful silence.

Somehow I can't control this weird feeling that covered me all the time. So I decided to speak,  
I will say these words very softly, and I hope you can hear it Yumehito.

I love you.

I mouthed that word.

And he smiled, slowly mumbled as he squeezed my hand,

I love you too.

I didn't shock because I knew he will tell me that magic words to me. But I can't hide this feeling from him again. A sort of feeling which me and him have the same feelings at each other.  
Today you are mine. And I hope every seconds, minutes, hours, days, and years that passed I will always holding the same hand.

I don't know what came up in my mind, but I suddenly get up still sit down on my bed; my hand still holding yours. You followed my movement, and we stared at each other until I leaned my face to yours slowly.

I landed my lips upon his. We kissed.

All at once his lips are on mine, soft and trembling against my own. It was as if he is scared to touch me. But we stay like that, lips pressed together. His eyes fell shut and he allowed himself to be pulled closer. Everything was so warm, my body, my heart…everything felt as if it were on fire, and when I holding him tighter, closer, Yumehito finally let go of his inhibitions and allowed himself to press closer.  
And then I pulled back, only enough for our foreheads to touch, noses brushing and the dark, hazy eyes opened slowly, taking in the state of his friend, looking thoroughly disheveled and overwhelmed.

Again the silence filled our world again, our eyes met for hundreds time. I think words are not important in this moment.  
I can't hide how happy I am in front of you, so I smiled like an idiot there. Well, I'm happy. I'm happy because of you, Yumehito.

I placed my forehead to you, we were too close.  
Close enough to make me afraid if I wanted more than just that kiss. I keep hold back this feeling, because I want everything goes slowly.  
I want to enjoy and feel this weird feeling again, with you, so I kissed your forehead, and continue with your wet lips again.

Thank you for gave me the chance to taste it.

Our hands keep connected to each other even until I woke up in the next morning. You slept beside me and I smiled. This weird feeling slowly evaporates and replaced by new feeling again. This weird feeling was not weird again for me, because finally I can presented it.

I'm in love.

This moment was one of thousands moments I had and will have with him next days, and like I said before, I will pay for everything and do anything to taste this feeling again.  
But now I just realized one thing, every moment I had with you always have different taste. Even all of them were based from the same feeling, Love.

Love always packed with different things, and I don't mind to taste it with you,

_my_ Yumehito.

**fin**

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so..How was it ? :3  
I hope you like it as much as I enjoy writing this!


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